sexyclopedia

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand!"
Woody Allen
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal
"Ah, yes, divorce. From the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."
George Burns
"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."
Steve Martin
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on a Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by an attractive middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for, later in life."
Elmo Phillips
To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it.
Cary Grant
I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
J. Edgar Hoover
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
P.J. O'Rourke humorist, political commentator
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.
Jay McInerney writer
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
Author Unknown
An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets.
Author Unknown
I once knew a woman who offered her honor So I honored her offer And all night long I was on her and off her.
Author Unknown
My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.
Bob Hope
Pornography is supposed to arouse sexual desires. If pornography is a crime, when will they arrest makers of perfume?
Richard Fleischer director
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner humorist
Chastity: The most unnatural of the sexual perversions.
Aldous Huxley
An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex.
Aldous Huxley
You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct.
W. Somerset Maugham
Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life is the other way around.
David Lodge writer
I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.
John Waters director
Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!
George Bernard Shaw
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
Author Unknown
Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
Andy Rooney US News commentator
If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
Louise Sammons writer
The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.
Truman Capote
There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats.
Elton John
What is commonly called love, namely the desire of satisfying a voracious appetite with a certain quantity of delicate white human flesh.
Henry Fielding writer
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Mark Twain
My reaction to porn films is as follows: After the first ten minutes, I want to go home and screw. After the first 20 minutes, I never want to screw again as long as I live.
Erica Jong actress
I am a man of few words and a thousand obscene gestures.
Randall N
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
Randall N
Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you.
Randall N writer
I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get.
Mae West
Sex is emotion in motion.
Mae West
An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card.
Alex Comfort novelist
Healthy, lusty sex is wonderful.
John Wayne
Some things are better than sex, some things are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
W. C. Fields
My brain is my second favorite organ.
Woody Allen
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
Kali Nichta writer
It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.
Joan Rivers actress
If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
George Carlin actor, writer, composer
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
Bette Midler
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation... The other eight are unimportant.
Henry Miller writer
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
Groucho Marx
I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now.
Groucho Marx
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